Confessions To a Star-field

Joey and James were nearby, but in my heart I was a single membered audience, captivated by the webbed star-field that rested lit and vivacious above me. I lay in the sand as Joey had, running my hands through the beach's cold powder until my fingertips reached the buried warmth of the sun's last remaining heat. My thoughts wandered from star to star, until I could finally confess the words that entranced me. "The god I know is much smaller than you," there was no response to my tear-filled words. "The god I know is so much smaller than you," I said louder.  I repeated these words again and again, not expecting a reply but knowing that the stars were His bold words to me, inquiring of my deepest thoughts, fears, emotions and dreams.  He was smiling from the heaven-lights as tears of fear and joy fell from my eyes. “Who is this god that I claim to know?”

In some lost summation of time, I noticed that Joey and James had left and were walking closer to the water. I rose in the darkness and realized that my God was no longer in the stars, but had become the wind.  I looked back and forth like a mad man, tears still flowing as I aimed to catch a glimpse of breeze. My arms spread wide as I shouted new confessions with a smile comparable to that of a child whose father hides behind his own hands, waiting to shout "Peek-a-boo!" to his little boy in anticipation. "I do not even know your name!" I shouted to the wind. "You say I am like you, but I know so little about you! Do you have a name? Do you have eyes? Do they look like mine? What is your name?" My eyes still searched the wind for a face, a voice, or something better; I was convinced that I could find God; and if I had found him, my arms were outstretched, ready to embrace and then never release him - just as my heart already had.

There was dancing, stumbling and no small amount of laughter.  If my god had a name it would encapsulate every aspect of him – in which case I could not pronounce it anyway! The secrets of what I did not know about Him, met the innumerable memories of the encounters I had had in His intimacy, and I was romanced in the mystery of Divinity. 

The night ended as I saw my friends approaching me from the water's edge.  I lowered my arms and wiped my tears, but no one could stop the proud voice of my heart as it bragged to itself, "I am the home of a god who smiles through star-fields,"